The Great Wiener Debate

The Great Wiener Debate

Living in a house surrounded by little boys under the age of 10, four of them in fact, comes with its own “challenges”; often accompanied by hilarity.  Among these challenges comes the debate on what to call the “male appendage”.  If you’ve ever had this giggle filled conversation with your own son, you can definitely understand the variety of silly names boys have been presented with regarding their “manhood”.  There are many reasons why you should simply call it what it is, but naturally that is up to the parents involved.

Your kids grow curious and go through the “what is this stage?”, so you teach them that they have eyes, noses, ears, and help them to know what they want. Then, if their friends or siblings come up with goofy name for their parts, which can be expected with four boys, it is not much of a surprise. However, with their “male parts”, parents seem to start with synonyms instead of the proper name, making it seem like the true name is forbidden.  A great example is when our seven year old Patrick saw a boy shooting himself in the “private area” with a water blaster. Patrick said, “You’re going to hurt your penis.” The boy, in a hushed voice, said, “Don’t say that, it’s a bad word.” Patrick, visibly upset, thought that he was now in trouble for saying such a terrible thing. All you can do is reassure him that he is using the proper name for his “wee wee” and make sure he knows that he will never be in trouble for saying it.

Now that the youngest has entered kindergarten he is encountering other kids who have different names for their “wiener”. As we sit down waiting for the school bus the other day a conversation is overheard about Patrick getting hit in the “twig-n-berries”. The natural instinct for me is to tell him to use the real name for it. As this happens, the youngest, Joseph, starts a chant of “wee wee” “wiener’, “wee wee” “wiener”, “wee wee” “wiener”. Even as I want to correct him, it’s hard to do so through the laughter coming out of my own mouth. Now the entire kitchen is filled the giggles and snickering of us all as Joseph continues his chant of “wee wee” “wiener” through his own chuckles. There is almost no point in trying to argue with a 5 year old about what to call his “pee pee”, so apparently I lose this debate, but we did get a lot of laughter in just before school and I am sure this gave them something to talk about on the bus ride in.

The important part of this is that you try to teach them the proper ways to go about certain situations. As long as they realize the true name of their “junk”, they will be just fine. Boys will be boys as they say and since my wife says I am also just a big child, which I surely cannot argue with, I can definitely relate to the humorous times concerning their “peeps”. So, in the end while many just want their kids to refer to their “little guy” by its proper name, it is more important to make sure they know when and where to use which terms.


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